Define Coincidence

It's when you've been working for the last 3 hours and decide to take a break and watch a video on youtube while munching on a candy bar and your boss shows up...

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Yeah we Americans are dumb

Irks me every time. I go to lunch with folks and inadvertently there is this line that sneaks in "Yeah we Americans are dumb, we can't think things before we do" or something on those similar lines.

I dont know of another race that call themselves dumb. Is this a confession session or are they really that humble?

Go on youtube and search for 'Dumb Americans' and you'll find hilarious videos where a guy goes around and asking people "Name a country that starts with U"
Here are some of the replies - "Yugoslavia", "Uhhhhhhhhhh", "Utopia" and perhaps the best of all "Utah"
I don't know if that video was scripted, but nevertheless, its funny....

If you look back to the past 200 years in science and innovation and in movie making they have always made leaps and bounds not to mention be original.
There is a blind sense of patriotism and I find it sorely lacking in other races. Every Bollywood movie that I've taken especially Hindi movies are rip-offs of really cool Hollywood movies. The sore remake of 'Usual Suspects' and 'Memento' come to mind! Or the rip-off of 'Fight Club' that was called...Fight Club.

But tell all this to an American guy and he'll tell you "Yeah man, thats all there but still Americans are dumb". Arrrrrrggggggghhhh.
"But you guys created 'America's Got Talent', invented the 'Weekend viagra' and 'have a McDonald's within a diametric mile everywhere on Earth'.
"Meehhh, we're still dumb"

South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as

Incase you don't follow what she said (neither did I initially...)

She was asked, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?”

Miss South Carolina answered, “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

I present you MY analysis of why she said something like this:

Most of the beauty pageants are asked questions about poverty, war, world hunger etc. Now an answer to a question like that would have been "We need to stop war in Iraq, prevent poverty in Asia...blah blah".
A question about maps would have been the last thing she expected.

Here is what your answer should have been Ms S Carolina, "I personally believe that U.S. is the only map available on maps.yahoo.com and maps.google.com and Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps on other countries like South Africa, uh the Iraq and Asian countries so that we can build our future, for us"

And a follow-up of what she said later in an interview:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-08-28-miss-south-carolina_N.htm

wrzqfdji, lwnwoif and pwkwqnsi

If you thought those were Polish names, you're wrong! Those are the confirmation text that I need to type every time I write a comment in someone's blog.

It's almost like saying "alright Mr. Sugavan you are a human, but within the last 5 mins of logging in you could have turned into frikkin Frenzy and connect to our server and destroy everything so please verify that you are good at typing Polish and Russian last names..."

Are you a creative person...

...if you are creative but think that you aren't creative? Isn't that creativity by itself?

Who wants to know....

...how coffee left standing on the table for a week in room temperature tastes like? I can explain :)

I had the opportunity to take a gulp of it (staring at the monitor and grabbing the wrong cup) and here is how it tastes and feels like.

It's totally slimy, almost squishy and thready that it tangles around your teeth and tongue. There isn't any liquid at all, everything is stuck together so you swallow a bit, you swallow the whole.

Tastes like...uhhh...let me see, acidic, salty, a little spicy (though that could have been because of the acidic taste and surprisingly no coffee flavor in it. Oh did I mention it was also warm and squishy?

@ Starbucks...

I dreamt of Starbucks today and decided to go get me some...
6 am...and this huge line of people ahead of me. Waiting patiently reading all those obscure writings on the wall I await my turn.
The guy ahead of me is ready to order. He goes "I want a venti 'extra caramel' caramel non fat macchiato.....blah blah".
So I thought why can't I be a jerk too?
Here is what I ordered "Venti Iced Non Fat Tazo Chai Latte, 1 extra pump of Chai, 1 shot of Espresso and with just a cube of ice"
2 seconds later...I go "Actually make that Soy milk will you?"
I kid you not, the lady behind me whooped us all. I sat down and wrote down what she ordered and here it is:
Venti non-fat half-caffeine soy latte with 1 pump mocha, 2 pumps caramel and 1 pump peppermint, high foam, non-fat whip, steamed milk at 185 degrees, 1 packet of Splenda (shaken, not stirred), few drops of Whole milk and an extra sleeve

Hahahah....

Marriage is...

me: will u believe me if i told u that i am working?

Sent at 1:38 PM on Tuesday

Preetha: nope

Battle at Kruger

There will be a million posts on several blogs in a few days about what I'll call 'arguably the most inspiring video footage ever'.

In short, a herd of buffaloes walk in a single line formation, with the male leading the pack. He is strolling and realizes to his horror that a pack of hungry lions are waiting to ambush his calf.
The lions manage to chase the few buffaloes and pounce on the calf. They loose balance and fall into a lake nearby. As they drag it outside a couple of crocodiles pounce on the calf from behind and a tug of war ensues in which the lions win. The pull the calf out and are busy gathering around for a feast.

What happens next will probably send a chill up everyone's spine. The entire herd of buffaloes come prepared in 'war' formation. You can actually see the lions stare at the herd with a bewildered look on their face. The lions don't attack the calf any further, probably as a key to escape. (I guess if they killed the calf it could mean definite death).

The highlight is when the calf walks back into the herd and one of the buffaloes (probably the dad) nudges it in. I am concerned about the calf because it was bitten by the lions and the croc which might be infectious!

For one I realized, Buffaloes ain't as dumb or timid as they look. At least not that herd!

In my lifetime I never thought I would see a buffalo chase a lion! And who said animals can't communicate? Look at the way the entire herd marched together in unison. I doubt if human beings would do that for one another!
We sit in cubicles while the real action is out there...in the wild.

Transformers vs. Die Hard...uhhh...vs Terminator 3 vs. A bunch more cyber-terrorist movies

Both the movies have the following in common:
1) adrenaline rush
2) people who stand very close to exploding bombs and buildings and walk(even better run) shortly thereafter
3) Guns...lots of guns (Keanu Reeves style)
4) Viruses that threaten to take over the world

Ahh, John Mclane, the one guy who can fall from a truck on to a highway then fall from the highway on to a fighter jet's rear (which is probably hot enough to fry anything within a few feet of it) then fall from the jet on the the highway below and then fall down to a road below with all the above items falling on him. Within 2 minutes he gets up cocks his gun and sprints ahead to whoop some cyber baddies.

Now if you are as paranoid as me, you will concur with me how much of a threat cyber terrorism is. Think about it, if there was a virus that could shut down everything...I mean everything! All power grids go down so during the day we're frying in the heat and living in darkness in the night. We don't have gas pumps working so we can't move around anywhere. We can't save food (because the refrigerators don't work). Not to mention I can't get my daily dose of youtube!

Are all these movies pre-cursors to an attack imminent?

Marriage is...

Preetha: i m working suga unlike u i actually need to work to get paid :P

From my blog that I maintained in 2001

This is one incident which I tell to every new person I meet here in Arizona when he or she tells me "Oh I was so tensed you know", for which I ask why. The person tells me "Oh I lost my pen" or tells me "Oh I didn't get a Window seat in the aero plane" or " My new dress and shoes don't match".
For those of you who don't know I was in the Gulf for about 13 years and our family habit has always been coming at say 4:00 to catch a 5:00 plane. Because it was always easy and there wouldn't be any crowd at Abu Dhabi.
This incident happened when I was flying to the US from Madras. For the 1:30 flight we reached the airport at 12:00. To my horror I saw a crowd that I had never seen before. There were no trolleys to push my luggage. I couldn't move, forget trying to get in to the airport. Luckily for me my sister ran off to the Domestic airport and got me one.


I entered in to find a long queue. I left my luggage to go back to see my parents when I saw that my mother had already finished crying...poor mommy. So this never endless queue got movin and when I reached the immigration officer he told me "Well Sir the previous person is the last we can get on Lufthansa. You will board Air India that is scheduled 3 hours later"
I was kicking myself for coming a little late. Then in came the call saying that there were seats available in the First Class. Oh yeah that was a fitting welcome!!!!!!!
Just as I was about to board the plane came this Officer out of no where and told me that my hand luggage was too large and I still remember what he said "Take out what ever valuables you got, and dump that bag". I was paralysed..dump the bag ...I mean all the things were important. I stood there for 10 mins arguing with him and he agreed that he will put it along with the Check in luggage. Why didn't he say this at first itself. NUT!!!
I got the first class seat and we reached Frankfurt. From there we were off to Phoenix. I got restless and with a group of other students we kept walking up and down the aisle only to be disciplined by the Airhostess'.
I reached the Immigration Officer in the US when he asked my for my I-20.
Officer: May I see your I-20 please
I handed over the copy to him.
Officer: Not this one the other one.
The other one...what the hell other one...I was shocked....I totally forgot that I had two I-20s. I told him I didn't know where it was.
Officer: Well then you are in deep trouble. You might have to board the plane back
I frantically started to search my hand luggage
Officer (Very stern): Go behind the yellow line and search. Do not cross it without the other copy.
I was freakin scared...and my limbs trembling I started searching. After almost 5 mins I found it at the bottom of my bag. I had misplaced it when I met that Psycho officer at Madras.
I breathed a sigh of relief and crossed this cannibal.
You might have wondered what does the title got to do with this epic incident.
Well here it is. I just got all my luggage and put em on a trolley and started moving towards the Customs Officer when out of no where my alarm clock started to ring.
My friends, had I come after September 11th I would have been shot first and then everyone around me would pretend they never knew me branding me a Terrorist.
But well this was almost a month and a half before that. The officers begun to panic and a couple of them rushed towards me and pulled my trolley and started walking away. Again I didn't want to be in one of those America's Wildest Cop videos or something so all I did was follow.
A lady officer slowly opened my bag.
I was still puzzled because I didn't know what was ringing inside as it was a new alarm clock of mine.
She pulled out a bag of rice which is my Mom had kept as part of our tradition.
She carelessly pulled it out and started to look at it mysteriously and started sniffing it. I was totally freaked out by then and the sound of the "bomb" driving me crazy asked her what she thought it was. She told me well there is this type of drugs that is shaped similarly. So there.
I was so helplessly standing there looking at the smooth line of Indians who were looking at me as if to say " So long buddy", We'll make a trip to Alcatraz during our summer vacation, hope to see you there.
Then this God of an Old officer came in ripped open the rice bag and smelt it and rubbed it. He said "Oh its just plain polished rice, where is the guy with the bomb?". I stared at him as he slowly pulled out the clock which was conveniently wrapped around a cloth. He slowly opened it and asked me what it was. I told him "Its an alarm clock". He gave a look at it and as if he was convinced told me "Oh yeah its an alarm clock", turned off the alarm and put it back.
God I moved on outside and my friends were "glad" to see me so soon.
And then in all the tension I left my hand luggage in the cab itself. Well it had my everything in it. The cab went back to Phoenix airport and came back. All the while I was standing at my apartment in Tempe in the scorching Sun hoping for the cab to come back. I got it back.
It was one hell of a trip I would say. Actually throughout the trip I never got to think of my parents even once as I was busy "TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD" - Dr Evil style....

Have you ever had the feeling that you were surrounded by something so powerful and yet so unreal that only you could feel it gripping you? That you were in a dream but with the difference that this dream is the only reality around you? This was exactly what Sanjana was going through.

For those who think that this story is along the lines of the movie "The Matrix", let me tell you that you are far from the truth. "How can I say that?" You better read the whole story before you make any judgment.

When you met Sanjana for the first time, you would think she was like any other "career" woman in her mid twenties. The ones you see everywhere these days, single but most likely with a boy-friend or live-in, a large circle of friends, furiously trying to climb up the corporate ladder and trying to make it in a world that is as always, dominated by men. Of course all of the above were true, but she was also different.

She was different because she was paranoid. People who suffer from paranoia are usually obsessed about something, and they can never hide it (at least from their close friends). She was paranoid too, but she was very careful about it. She appeared as normal as any other person.

What was she paranoid about? The truth was that she didn't know. She felt that she was disconnected from reality. She had weird dreams, which she could never remember the next day except for the fact that they were "weird". She was not happy with her life, but she couldn't pinpoint a single reason why that was so. She had a good career, nice friends and the current live-in couldn't be better. He was just the kind of guy she would want to marry and their relationship was quite strong.They were only waiting for the right time to tie the knot.

And because she didn't know what exactly was wrong with her, she couldn't share it with anyone. The rational side of her kept insisting that she was just stressed out and she would be okay soon. However she lost track of the time since she had been like this. Was it 1 year? 2 years? Or had she been like this for ever?

She didn't want to seek psychiatric help because they usually made her talk about her life and her past trying to find a cause for this. Well, she had already done that, hadn't she?. She had a wonderful childhood with parents and siblings who loved her. She saw them regularly too. Or they would probably say that she suffered from Multiple personality disorder (MPD), but she knew that she never suffered from memory loss of ever lost track of what she was doing, so she was sure that there was no other "personality" inside her that was doing this to her. It had to be something else. What was it???

It felt like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle were floating around her and she only had to catch them and fit them together. She knew she had to do something to get her life back.

She was browsing through the net when she read about blogs. Blogs were like diaries except that you typed them out and posted them on a website. So she thought "Why don't start writing down what I'm going through?"

She did and you just read it now...

Hmmm

If I am being asked to take a survey anonymously how is it that I receive a notification stating that I haven't taken the survey yet?

S.P.A.M

Ah, if only I had known how the future would have treated us spammers and by that I am referring to my family. When I was asked by my dad to suggest a great name for our family email I said "Dad, lets go with SPAM...@.....". On being asked why I said it stands for the first letters of our family (Sugavan, Padma, Anuradha, Malligarjunan).

Now my parents curse me, for an email from this account goes directly to everyone's Junk folder. I could only joke "The emails mom send are worthless anyway". I even tried to refer to mythology to prove a point. Arjuna's arrow multiplying into several thousands or Jesus' creating fishes a plenty out of a few but to no avail....Sigh