Have you ever had the feeling that you were surrounded by something so powerful and yet so unreal that only you could feel it gripping you? That you were in a dream but with the difference that this dream is the only reality around you? This was exactly what Sanjana was going through.
For those who think that this story is along the lines of the movie "The Matrix", let me tell you that you are far from the truth. "How can I say that?" You better read the whole story before you make any judgment.
When you met Sanjana for the first time, you would think she was like any other "career" woman in her mid twenties. The ones you see everywhere these days, single but most likely with a boy-friend or live-in, a large circle of friends, furiously trying to climb up the corporate ladder and trying to make it in a world that is as always, dominated by men. Of course all of the above were true, but she was also different.
She was different because she was paranoid. People who suffer from paranoia are usually obsessed about something, and they can never hide it (at least from their close friends). She was paranoid too, but she was very careful about it. She appeared as normal as any other person.
What was she paranoid about? The truth was that she didn't know. She felt that she was disconnected from reality. She had weird dreams, which she could never remember the next day except for the fact that they were "weird". She was not happy with her life, but she couldn't pinpoint a single reason why that was so. She had a good career, nice friends and the current live-in couldn't be better. He was just the kind of guy she would want to marry and their relationship was quite strong.They were only waiting for the right time to tie the knot.
And because she didn't know what exactly was wrong with her, she couldn't share it with anyone. The rational side of her kept insisting that she was just stressed out and she would be okay soon. However she lost track of the time since she had been like this. Was it 1 year? 2 years? Or had she been like this for ever?
She didn't want to seek psychiatric help because they usually made her talk about her life and her past trying to find a cause for this. Well, she had already done that, hadn't she?. She had a wonderful childhood with parents and siblings who loved her. She saw them regularly too. Or they would probably say that she suffered from Multiple personality disorder (MPD), but she knew that she never suffered from memory loss of ever lost track of what she was doing, so she was sure that there was no other "personality" inside her that was doing this to her. It had to be something else. What was it???
It felt like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle were floating around her and she only had to catch them and fit them together. She knew she had to do something to get her life back.
She was browsing through the net when she read about blogs. Blogs were like diaries except that you typed them out and posted them on a website. So she thought "Why don't start writing down what I'm going through?"
She did and you just read it now...
For those who think that this story is along the lines of the movie "The Matrix", let me tell you that you are far from the truth. "How can I say that?" You better read the whole story before you make any judgment.
When you met Sanjana for the first time, you would think she was like any other "career" woman in her mid twenties. The ones you see everywhere these days, single but most likely with a boy-friend or live-in, a large circle of friends, furiously trying to climb up the corporate ladder and trying to make it in a world that is as always, dominated by men. Of course all of the above were true, but she was also different.
She was different because she was paranoid. People who suffer from paranoia are usually obsessed about something, and they can never hide it (at least from their close friends). She was paranoid too, but she was very careful about it. She appeared as normal as any other person.
What was she paranoid about? The truth was that she didn't know. She felt that she was disconnected from reality. She had weird dreams, which she could never remember the next day except for the fact that they were "weird". She was not happy with her life, but she couldn't pinpoint a single reason why that was so. She had a good career, nice friends and the current live-in couldn't be better. He was just the kind of guy she would want to marry and their relationship was quite strong.They were only waiting for the right time to tie the knot.
And because she didn't know what exactly was wrong with her, she couldn't share it with anyone. The rational side of her kept insisting that she was just stressed out and she would be okay soon. However she lost track of the time since she had been like this. Was it 1 year? 2 years? Or had she been like this for ever?
She didn't want to seek psychiatric help because they usually made her talk about her life and her past trying to find a cause for this. Well, she had already done that, hadn't she?. She had a wonderful childhood with parents and siblings who loved her. She saw them regularly too. Or they would probably say that she suffered from Multiple personality disorder (MPD), but she knew that she never suffered from memory loss of ever lost track of what she was doing, so she was sure that there was no other "personality" inside her that was doing this to her. It had to be something else. What was it???
It felt like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle were floating around her and she only had to catch them and fit them together. She knew she had to do something to get her life back.
She was browsing through the net when she read about blogs. Blogs were like diaries except that you typed them out and posted them on a website. So she thought "Why don't start writing down what I'm going through?"
She did and you just read it now...
Labels: Preetha's classics
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