UFOs - My theory

UFOs and the little green men are widely believed to be sighted and found to be true, or at least that is what people think. I think it would be too much for me to digest the fact, that on an ordinary day we would see spaceships land in front of my apartment and green men walking out and shooting people down with laser guns and then finally we using water or even better, Britney Spears music to chase them out of our world.
I'd prefer to think they are already on this earth living among us, learning to co-exist with us already. If so which race would qualify for an alien race?
First the obvious ones who aren't:
1) Americans: Oh come on, they'd have a tough time trying to prove who among their forefathers were aliens, Germans? Irish? Polish?
2) Asian Indians: They're pretty diverse too, and myself being an Indian, I realize my breed of people don't have what it takes to be alien origin
3) Blacks: Ariiittt, yooaalll, this one was close yo, but had to disqualify coz they ain't gonna like me callin Tupac or Snoopy aliens.

So who among us are aliens you ask, taaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - Chinese

First of all, the most obvious thing about them is the shape of their eyes - The sharp and oval shaped eyes are the closest to being different from any of our eyes and closest to alien eyes.

Then about their eating habits - who on earth(or anywhere in the galaxy) eats snakes, rats, scorpions or tarantulas. Man that requires some out of the world stomach to digest all that.
I had a Chinese friend who was exceptionally brilliant, he could solve problems so quickly when some of us in the class were still trying to comprehend the question. Their brains are fueled by some alien force.
What about their alphabets, THEY DONT HAVE ANY! instead they have 3000 or so symbols. Most languages have alphabets. Do those symbols mean anything? I'd bet they are used in communicating with planet ChingChango or something located 50 million light years away.
Another incident I remember when I went to visit my sister in New York. I slept in the sofa in the living room and kept the window open. I had only slept for a few minutes when one of these Chinese guys got out of his apartment and starting talking on his mobile phone. Believe me, it was midnight, he was talking at the top of his voice, and he was looking right up at the stars. Freaked me out!
Martial art is synonymous with the Chinese. When the rest of the world depends on guns and swords to fight, these guys have developed an art to fight with bare hands.

We say little green men don’t we. These guys come close to it....little yellow men, with alien eyes, a funny language which has according to me the most variant pitch and frequency.

Every 5th person in the world is a Chinese, well soon they will take over the world!

UFOs might never come to earth and invade us, because they already have! 1/4th of the world's population and area belong to them, they have taken the best jobs and have the hottest chicks! What more is there to take over in the world then?